What are you saying to yourself about yourself?

What you say about yourself counts so much more than what others say about you. It is what you believe to be true that becomes your reality. Labels are stereotypes we attach ourselves to and identify with emotionally. Those emotions can be negative or positive, but when we focus on the negative aspect of the label we alter our internal feeling about the most important person in your life, YOU. The negative emotion becomes a cancer within your mind and grows to the point that every cell has been altered to resemble the DNA of the negative label. One thought can become your lifestyle. A thought that is rehearsed over and over in your mind, becomes a process of thinking. The negative process of thinking then becomes a daily routine which leads to a negative lifestyle.

One failed test or difficulty with a project becomes a thought of I am stupid, just because one test was missed or you took longer on a project than you expected. The label of “stupid” that you identified with in your thoughts, then becomes a process when you rehearse the events of the failure in your mind. The conversation becomes “I failed the test, I am so stupid, I will never be successful.” The thought of being “stupid” because of a failed test becomes I will always be this way because I am stupid for failing one test. The conversation we have with ourselves about ourselves has to be different. Instead of focusing on the failure by calling yourself stupid, think on the positive. The self conversation can go from negative to a positive if you choose to do so. A failed test is not so bad, it is the emotion that rises up with that failed test that is doing the damage to self. The person that started the self-sabotaging behavior can change the conversation with self by saying “yes, I failed the test, but let me see what I can change to do better next time.” We can change our lives one positive self conversation at a time.

Be mindful of the conversations that you have with yourself. Our mind believes what we tell it to believe. What are you telling yourself to believe about you? Are you having a self-sabotaging conversation? If you are make the decision to change the way you talk about the most important person in your life…YOU! Give yourself the same Grace that God gives you! Stop being a BULLY to yourself!

Transparency Strengthens and Heals

Our transparency  with God and ourselves is what heals! It’s easy to go back into our comfort zone of what we would normally do in situations, but when we are on the journey of Transformation we have to come out of what is comfortable to us. We have to be sensitive to what the spirit of God is telling us. We are praying for healing and mind renewal! 

Our transparency allows God into the areas that we need to be healed. We must take it all to God, even though God is all knowing and all powerful, in prayer. It’s like a parent who already knows what a child has done but wants the child to speak it. The parent wonders, “will my child be open and honest with me to let me know what has happened or will they shun away from telling the truth”. When the child tells the truth, the parent is relieved not only about the confession but because the child honored the relationship by revealing what was ailing them. This makes the parent feel great about the relationship that they have with their child. That’s how God is…

When we feel comfortable enough to be transparent with God it helps the relationship and gives the opportunity for God to heal those hurting places just as a parent would do for their child. 

Level Up

Growth is a forward moving task that requires expansion. Think of a plant. The seed is planted in the soil, it is watered and nurtured so that the growth process can occur. Once the plant starts to grow, it starts to move in an upward motion on top of the soil, but underneath the soil the roots are moving in a lateral and downward motion to help with the foundation of the growth process for the plant. As the plant continues to grow the roots go deeper and spread out wider. Soon the plant outgrows it container and has to be transplanted into a new pot in order for the growth process to continue on. When growth is occurring in something, it cannot remain in the space that limits its growth.

Just like the plant, we to have to have a strong foundation that firmly supports our growth process. Something or someone that will hold us down as we grow up mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The firm foundation that we need for growth is prayer and meditation. Just like the soil that supports the plant, prayer and meditation provide support for our spirit as we grow to the next level.

Leveling up requires positive moves. These moves will push you to the next level in life and it’s all based on the way you think about yourself. Being a person with a level up mentality requires positive thinking, positive attitude and positive talk about the most important person in your life…YOU!

I have always wanted to help others reach their goals, dreams, and aspirations! And I have always had the ability to encourage others with positive words and actions, but when it came to myself that was a different case. I was not watering my soul with the nourishment of prayer and meditation so that my spirit could grow confidently into what I was called to be. My foundation was not growing at the roots, so my growth became stagnant.

I had to change the way I treated myself in actions. The way I carried myself was not conducive to a healthy growth pattern. Not saying that I was all jacked up, but how I invested in me needed improvements. I would spend all kinds of money on things that did not benefit my growth like restaurants and clothes that I did not need. But when the time came to enroll in a course or something like that…I never found the time or money to invest in me!

I also had to level up my associations. The company we keep has the ability to help grow our foundation and allow it to remain strong. Transformation wil require you to grow outside of your comfort zone. I have labeled myself as the introvert-extrovert. Getting to know knew people is not hard for me, it’s the getting out part that I struggle with in my mind. I have had the ability to talk myself right out of opportunities to connect with others that could have helped me lay a stronger foundation in life.

So ask yourself the questions….

What company am I keeping? What dialogue do I have with the company that I keep and with myself? What do I think about me? And most of all how can I increase my time in prayer and meditation?

To be intentional about transformation(growth) we must

1. Embrace Change

2. Level up!

“Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

It’s OKAY…sis!


Sis it truly is OKAY for you to be tired. It’s OKAY for you to say I want to rest today and do nothing. And it’s even OKAY for you to put yourself first for a change. YES, it’s OKAY  for you to invest in yourself, whether it’s something big like choosing to go back to school or as simple as taking yourself on a date. IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO DO YOU, to be your own BIGGEST CHEERLEADER, It is okay put your dreams in action mode in order to feel better about yourself.

Its OKAY to encourage others to follow their dreams while working on yours at the same time. It’s OKAY to say I can’t today help at this time because I have to complete something that I have started doing for myself. It’s an act of self love to invest in yourself so always remember that you are worth it and It’s OKAY to show yourself some love!

It is an Opportunity to Know/Appreciate YOU! It’s OKAY!


How many times have you started the process of growth? The process of working on bettering something about yourself. Only to stop the process. Not intentionally but just one day you didn’t do it anymore. You stopped going to the gym, stopped making your morning smoothie, or instead of choosing water as a beverage you exchanged it for a Pepsi and you really can’t recall when the last time you drank a glass of water. Your on the right path but suddenly you just weren’t anymore. I know I have done these very things many times. I figured I couldn’t be the only one that has started and stop, only to continue to give it try again.
I had to ask myself why I continued in the cycle of start and stop. I could have a great excuse and just say my work schedule interferes with my abilities to maintain a schedule of any sorts, so it is hard to continue a path of improvement. Which is completely not the case…. If I wanted to do something and truly wanted to continue to do it, I would make a way for me to do whatever it is. That excuse would never get to the core of the matter. It was comfortable for me to fall into my old habits. I was used to eating on the go and not prioritizing exercise.
Growth is outside of our comfort zone. When we stretch ourselves to do something that we are not used to doing it allows us to learn something new about ourselves. In all of the times that I have started a new eating regimen and fall back into my old ways of eating after a couple of weeks, I did not realize that the reason that I would stop after a couple of weeks was because I would not be prepared. I would start the month out cooking many good meals during the first week, the second week I am hit and missing but by the third week we have eaten fast food a few times in the week. It is because I realized that I need to go to the grocery more often than I had just to get the few that I use on the regular basis.
When I realized that was the issue, I was able to understand what I need to do to be successful on the new journey. I must always keep a running list of items to grab on my mid-week store run. And I have elected to use Kroger grocery pick up service for the big grocery day. But what really was a revelation for me was the fact that I need to cook with the items that I have in my home already. This will save me money and help with eating better.
After being sick and tired of the merry-go-round, I knew I had to do something different. I had to accept the fact I needed to remain out of my comfort zone and stick with the process. I realized that embracing the change would allow me the opportunity to look find areas that I could change in order for me to be successful. It was a time for me to review my daily routine and to find areas that I could improve by just making a simple adjustment. Not anything drastic but just something like planning when to grocery shop online and schedule pick up when I’m already out and about. Just that little bit of adjustment in my day allowed the opportunity for me to be prepared for the days and weeks to come which really helps in the long run.
Having the opportunity to embrace the process of growth will allow the chance to be intentional about the transformation that is taking place. Embracing the change allows for order, time management, and improving organization skills. It is an opportunity to take ownership over your life and the process of growth. Growth is a part of living…embrace it!

Embrace the growth that is happening in the life of the most important person in your life…YOU!

~Vernice Mechel